Wedding Decisions to make with your Partner
When it comes to planning a wedding, usually you, the bride, take the lead on the decision making. You’ve probably been planning your wedding before even getting engaged, and have an idea of what you want your big day to look like. However, you can’t plan the whole wedding on your own, nor should you! There are some wedding decisions you have to make with your partner:
1. Guest List
The guest list may seem obvious, but it’s an important one to remember to include your partner on! Regardless of how long you’ve been dating, you may not have even met each other’s entire extended family. In addition, your partner might want to consult with their parents to make sure they don’t leave out any must-invites. Forgetting to invite someone to your wedding is a horrible feeling; work together to make sure that doesn’t happen! Also, make sure you decide together how many people you want to invite. Your budget largely depends on the number of guests you invite. Which brings us to the next topic…
The two of you must decide on your budget together, especially before you start booking or making purchases! The first thing to sort out is who is actually paying for the wedding. Traditionally, the brides’ parents take care of most of the wedding costs. Make sure you are both comfortable with the amount they’re giving you and how it’s going to be spent. If you don’t have someone else paying for your wedding, it’s very important to figure out if both of you will be paying for the wedding, or just one of you. From there, determine how much you can afford to spend.
Picking out your venue is typically the first big decision you will make. The venue sets the stage for the type of wedding you will have. Making this decision together is a great way to get both of you excited about wedding planning (even if one of you is considerably less enthusiastic about it than the other). Down the road, the less enthusiastic partner will be more willing to participate in wedding planning if the venue and type of wedding are something they’re on board with. Additionally, your wedding venue is a place that will be special to you forever, and a place that you may come back and visit for anniversaries! It is definitely a decision to involve your partner in.
4. Processional and First Dance Songs
This is another decision that you want to make with your partner because it’s something that the two of you will always remember, and also sets the tone of your wedding day. Do want to walk down the aisle to something fun, classic, country, or rock and roll? The song needs to represent both you and your partner. Likewise, your first dance song will make you think of your partner every single time you hear it, so making sure it’s something you both love is crucial.
5. Wedding Party
Although it may seem like the bride chooses her bridesmaids, and the groom chooses his groomsmen, the wedding party is something both partners should have input on. First and foremost, your future spouse should get along with everyone in the wedding party. You will be spending lots of time with your wedding party; From your engagement party, to possibly a combo bachelor/bachelorette party, a couples wedding shower, and most importantly the wedding day. To ensure your wedding is as drama free as possible, make sure not only your partner gets along with everyone in the wedding party, but that all the bridesmaids and groomsmen get along as well.
6. Ceremony and Vows
This is a huge decision and should absolutely be made with your partner. Will you have a religious or civil ceremony? Will your vows be traditional or will you write your own? This decision is one that can take a lot of compromise, especially if you come from two different backgrounds. If one of you wants a religious ceremony while the other wants a civil ceremony, consider compromising by not holding your wedding in church, but including religious readings in the ceremony. If one of you wants traditional vows, and the other wants to write their own, why not do both?! Come up with a plan for the ceremony that reflects both of your wants and needs.
Traditionally the groom will plan and pay for the honeymoon. However, more and more couples are choosing to plan their honeymoon together. Sit down with your partner and decide if one of you wants to plan and surprise the other, or if you’d like to do it together. If planning your honeymoon together, jot down some ideas separately and then share with each other to see if there’s any overlap. This should be the fun part! Don’t get caught up in making your own vacation dreams come true, make sure your partner is happy too! That’s what marriage is all about, right?!